Take a look at the typical day in homes and marriages now days, up early, in a rush, kids rush through a bowl of sugar coated cereal, Dad can't find what he needs, kids can't find their shoes, Mom is already in the car honking..."come on, we're late!" No kiss for the honey, just a "See you later, don't be late!", Its every man for himself..... Back at home, there's no time for prayer or bible reading, because you woke up with a list, scrub the toilets, laundry, FACEBOOK, grocery shopping, make all the beds, listen to the latest gossip, the dog keeps throwing up, bill collectors keep calling, forgot to lay something out for dinner, time to pick up the kids, homework, re-clean the house, start dinner, clean a minor wound, more laundry, separate fighting kids, dinner is done, where is that man?, kids are hungry, Dad's home, No welcome home kiss, just a "Why are you late? I asked you not to be late, dinner is cold!" re-heat dinner, eat in 10 mins, no table conversation, throw the kids in the bath, "honey, wanna sit out back and talk?" Duh...I don't have time for that, I have to get the kids out of the bath"....haul the kids out of the tub, more laundry, clean the kitchen, put the kids to bed, hummmm 9 o'clock....all the while, honey sits in his favorite chair enjoying the paper...... "I am going to bed"....Once you have settled your weary bones, honey looks at you " hey baby"..you reply "ARE YOU CRAZY? NO!".....
Sound familiar.....?
This is the way it is in many homes....across America you mean? No, I mean many homes in your church, your families, your circle of friends.. we just don't talk about it. We don't talk about it, because it is shameful. Shameful, because WE have allowed it to happen... Lets look at that "Typical Day".....
Time Management....yes, the WIFE'S time management.... awww..... you thought I was gonna tear into that relaxing husband, the one enjoying the paper while the house fell apart???? Nope, not yet anyway....lol
See, the timing and movements of the home are set by the "Woman of the House". Look, there is power and position in being the woman of the house, what men strive for in their professional world, God has just handed us.... in our homes.... how dare we squander it on poor management skills. God has handed us this authority in our homes because of our submission to him and our husbands, there are benefits to submission. "Well, there is just so much to do" you say. Your right, our job is not easy, our load is not light, I agree.. but it is manageable, if you are disciplined and determined to have a healthy family and marriage . Let's look a little closer at this, so we can get to the root issue here....
Ladies, your mornings and day for that matter, should not be chaos. Set your priorities... Your first thought should be GOD... Spend time with God every morning... let his strength gird you up for the day.
Your second thought should be your husband, but I will get to that in a minute.....
Next, spend a few minutes with your kids.... they are a blessing from God... you have no idea what they go through at school...A child's Mom is the closest thing to God in their little world...at least pray with them each day, love them before they go off to school, greet them with love when they get home, and tuck them in with God's love every night... You owe them that, and you will be judged on your performance one day...
Manage your home... let your kids help with chores. Nobody says to be a good Mom you have to do everything.. How will your children learn if you don't teach them how to do chores? Responsibility builds Character.... make a list of expectations for your children, give them consequences... and follow through... don't give empty threats.
Now... Let's get to the heart of the matter..... the romance and where has it gone????
Some of you wanted me to be all about that "lazy husband relaxing in his chair while, the wife was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off"...... Okay, let's look at him....
Here's how his day went....Had a bad start this am because the house is in chaos, his wife didn't acknowledge him, got to work late, boss gave him a look, HIS SECRETARY ALSO GAVE HIM A LOOK!, the one his wife didn't give him...... the guys at work teased him cause he won't wallow in the gutter with them, work on his desk is piling up and he will have to work a little late, can't reach his wife (because she is on the phone listening to the latest gossip?)to let her know, "Great! traffic, I am gonna be late for dinner, shes gonna be mad", no welcome home kiss, wow, that was some look from my secretary, wife doesn't want to sit out back and talk, I am just in the way in here, I need some peace and quite, dinner, bed time, my wife rejected my intimacy and affection, she doesn't love me......
Wow!..... Is it any wonder he made his way to his chair? What is wrong with this picture??? Well, lets start at the beginning...
Men are designed to be Conquers...Knights in shining armor... Heroes. And what he wants more than anything in life is to be that for you... he wants to fix things for you, make things better for you, he wants to "save" you... when your husband sees you drowning in a household of chaos... he doesn't know what to do to help you because he was not designed to manage your household... you were.... Unless you tell him and allow him to "rescue" you....he is not fulfilling is design.... And your probably saying " He is a smart man, why should I have to tell him what to do?" Two reasons, because it is not the customary role for most husbands, and secondly, he might be feeling like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs!.... Maybe you haven't welcomed him into your world.... Or maybe you are the wife saying "My husband would never help me with housework or the kids, that is a woman's job", Well let me just say, husbands if that is you..shame on you...your wife keeps your world spinning and you should appreciate what a challenge that is sometimes... Ladies, maybe he has not grasped the "benefits" of helping you...
Here's an example...." Hey honey, there are a lot of dishes here, if you could help me get the kids to bed, by the time I am done with the dishes, I could meet you upstairs".... would that sound better to him than, "ARE YOU CRAZY? NO!".
Okay...pardon me, maybe I am rushing some of you.....how about, "honey, if you can help me with these dishes, after I get the kids in bed, we could have some coffee out back" Is that better??? lol.....there is nothing like opening the line of communication in the audience of all of God's wondrous creations.... the stars, the heavens... the vastness, seems to help open up even the most suppressed emotions...
My husband and I have made some of our most important decisions of our life outside, under the stars, with God... try it... you'll be amazed at how defenseless you both become...Lets talk about that look his secretary gave him.... Even if your husband is not the type..Ladies, let me warn you about not being the one who is giving your husband "the look". It is very important that your husbands ego be fed at home.. because their are plenty of women out there, who do not see marriage as a obstacle. In fact, a married man is a "hassle free encounter" . I would hate to think that the devil had an opportunity to slip in and destroy your marriage while you were preoccupied with your chaos... It happens everyday, to good, godly marriages, every where. We are not exempt, and you owe it to one another to meet each others needs.
So your saying.. "Well, what does this have to do with romance and how do I get those butterflies back?" Simple, you work on it, daily...you create romance... huh? Here, let me show you..
Look ladies, here's the bottom line you are a manager, you are married to a conquer.... get your priorities straight, clear out the chaos, so he can rescue you.....Set him up to succeed.... Let him be your Knight in shining armor....because besides all the mess, chaos, stress, and disorder that life can bring... your really a Princess.....
God Bless You,
Joy
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